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He and his parents shared this story with us on our Fifty-State Story Tour back 2010. Today, we catch up with Mathias and hear how his life has been since we met him and his family at their home in Spokane, Washington.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
[Music]
00:05
all right welcome to
00:06
this week’s story update this week we
00:09
are
00:09
speaking with matthias oliver who we
00:12
filmed in spokane washington
00:14
all the way back in uh it was the fall
00:17
of 2010. let’s take a look at his story
00:19
i’m ronnie oliver
00:21
i’m mathias oliver i’m regan oliver
00:24
and we are the oliver family from
00:26
spokane washington
00:28
yes so um we’ve been working really hard
00:32
on um helping matthias our son who’s
00:35
15 and um he came out when he was 12
00:39
and we’ve been trying to um 11
00:42
officially
00:42
well that’s right 11. i stand corrected
00:46
and so one day matthias i think just
00:49
finally had the courage or
00:51
just felt inspired to
00:55
share that with both of us and so he
00:58
came down to talk to us and what ended
01:00
up happening
01:02
was he he couldn’t actually articulate
01:04
it he needed to
01:05
um he wrote it down on a little scratch
01:07
of paper and handed it to his dad
01:09
right yeah i’ve always told him that he
01:12
could talk up to us about anything
01:15
especially me but i think for what he
01:17
had to say he was a little bit
01:18
apprehensive
01:20
um but once he kind of gave me the notes
01:24
you know i want to reassure him that you
01:26
know no matter what
01:28
whether he’s gay african-american tall
01:31
short slim larger you know he’s my son
01:35
and i love him
01:36
and i would want to support him no
01:39
matter what he does
01:40
we’ve had some difficult issues with
01:43
some of the kids and just sort of the
01:44
environment at school
01:46
and thankfully i had these two beautiful
01:49
wonderful people
01:50
to come home too the main concerns were
01:52
just with
01:54
some of the dialogue that was said about
01:56
me um
01:59
and i usually don’t use this word but
02:01
and
02:03
just not nice words at all
02:07
and the fact that they were that
02:11
they were even thought of being used to
02:14
project on me
02:15
even though they didn’t even know me was
02:17
scary enough but
02:18
that they were taking time out of their
02:20
day to just totally ruin
02:22
mine so i just i wanted to try and
02:26
then with the butt as soon as possible
02:27
not just for me but for
02:29
anyone else coming to school the type of
02:32
language that has been
02:34
bombarded him as he goes to school and
02:36
walk down the street
02:37
i’ll just tell you a situation one day
02:40
he came home and he said
02:42
some kids were giving him a hard time uh
02:44
calling him some names he and my friend
02:46
was walking home
02:47
and i don’t know if this is the time
02:48
that the kids spit at him or something
02:50
like that
02:50
but he came home and and told um us
02:54
and as soon as i heard what he said i
02:56
told my wife i’m like let’s go
02:58
we’re going to go talk to those kids and
03:01
and and find out
03:02
who’s doing this and why they’re doing
03:04
it this was a separate incident from the
03:06
spitting thing
03:06
okay and i’d actually been coming home
03:08
from the
03:10
this thing called bench practice and
03:12
it’s just kind of like a
03:15
student version of cheerleading we get
03:17
together we do routines and
03:18
just at this big church bench and make
03:21
everything all cool and stuff
03:22
spirit yes and we’ve been walking home
03:26
and they were like i don’t think
03:30
they might have been thinking straight
03:31
because uh my friend
03:33
she said that she could see a wine
03:35
bottle in there and they’d been smoking
03:37
so
03:38
i’m gonna guess that they were a little
03:40
friendly when it came to the drinking so
03:43
it was kind of scary because they’d
03:46
they specifically said to my friend
03:49
aubry they called her a
03:50
booty hoe which doesn’t even make much
03:53
sense to me
03:54
but um okay and they’d said
03:58
and i believe this was from one of the
04:00
african americans that was in the car at
04:02
the time
04:03
he had said that i was a disgrace to all
04:05
black people
04:06
and it was just like okay well
04:10
i just bled them off and came home and
04:13
had my father pointed out he kind of
04:14
went off commando mode and wanted to
04:17
punch people in the face i went out
04:18
there
04:19
and talked to the kids and found out in
04:20
fact two of the kids were football
04:22
players on the team
04:23
and after i kind of talked them a little
04:25
bit i said just listen man my son is a
04:27
freshman
04:28
you know he’s kind of new to the school
04:30
he’s kind of used not used to what’s
04:31
going on can you guys kind of look out
04:32
for him and make sure he’s okay
04:34
he said yes no problem you know it was
04:36
just as simple as that just talking to
04:38
the kids so that just shows that
04:39
you know there’s so many kids out there
04:41
willing to help all you have to do is
04:43
sometimes
04:43
just just talk to them and say something
04:45
so that just made me feel so much better
04:47
my son was still embarrassed but i told
04:49
him i wouldn’t do that again
04:50
i learned my lessons but you know that
04:53
that i think that’s a growing process
04:54
for us
04:55
as parents to learn what to do and what
04:57
not to do
04:58
so my lesson okay uh welcome mathias
05:02
um how are you i’m doing really really
05:06
well it’s it’s good to see you and the
05:07
whole team again i’m
05:08
really happy to be here good well thanks
05:11
for joining us so when we got your story
05:13
that was 10 years ago you were
05:15
i believe a sophomore in high school and
05:18
uh you were living with your parents in
05:20
spokane washington
05:22
and so can you kind of give us a little
05:23
update on uh
05:25
where your life is uh yeah uh well i
05:29
graduated
05:29
surprise um and then after
05:33
i went after i left university
05:36
i ended up at whitworth university and
05:39
graduated
05:40
um with the bachelor of fine arts and
05:42
theater um
05:44
i moved out of my parents house and now
05:46
i live 10 minutes away from them in a
05:48
charming little shoebox apartment that i
05:50
call the rabbit hole
05:52
it’s very lovely partially underground
05:54
and i’m very happy there
05:57
i’m currently in pursuit of my
06:00
professional career in acting and was
06:03
about ready to head out of spokane
06:05
and then covet hit so
06:08
my plans got a little derailed there but
06:10
thankfully i ended up at a really
06:12
wonderful non-profit
06:14
i get to help people all throughout the
06:16
day and then go home and
06:17
continue continue my art with fellow
06:20
artists here in spokane
06:22
so very happy wow it sounds like you
06:25
fell right into exactly
06:26
you know your your niche and like what
06:29
you really want to focus on
06:30
um that’s great uh you’re a sophomore
06:33
when we filmed you and your story really
06:35
touched a lot on
06:36
bullying um you know you still had two
06:38
and a half years left of high school
06:40
did you have any more experiences of
06:42
bullying or did you
06:43
have any like confrontations or
06:46
opportunities to stand up to bullies or
06:48
you know how did the rest of your high
06:50
school turn out uh in that regard
06:52
uh junior year is when it got really bad
06:56
um because
06:59
i was still kind of getting out of my
07:00
awkward phase and i was trying things
07:02
out
07:03
and different hairstyles different
07:04
clothing things and some of them worked
07:06
some of them really didn’t
07:08
and people really i shouldn’t say people
07:11
but
07:12
individuals at school were very vocal
07:16
about
07:16
you know me trying to express myself in
07:19
different ways
07:20
um thankfully it was nothing physical
07:23
um and there was definitely a support
07:26
system there for me
07:27
both at home and at school where i could
07:30
talk to someone if it had ever gotten to
07:31
that point
07:32
senior year is when i really hit my
07:34
stride i really got everything together
07:36
um and people
07:40
by then people had kind of grown up and
07:42
figured out
07:44
let people live let people live um so
07:47
when i left i was in a much much better
07:49
place from where
07:50
from when i had entered so i was very
07:52
thankful for that
07:55
i’m so glad um so we have a your parents
07:58
were
07:58
in your story with you and i have a
08:00
comment uh
08:01
from your youtube video that i’m going
08:04
to read real quick
08:05
it says uh most awesome parents
08:08
ever i just want to give them both a
08:10
great big hug
08:11
do they even realize how much strength
08:13
they are giving their son you can see it
08:15
in how happy
08:16
and loved he is uh so i’m wondering how
08:19
how are your parents doing right now
08:21
they’re they’re doing one of
08:22
wonderful they both say hello to you
08:26
um and so my parents are divorced now
08:30
um and they found since then have found
08:33
um
08:33
other partners that make them very very
08:35
happy
08:37
my mom’s still in spokane working for
08:39
the u.s marshals fighting bad guys
08:42
and then my dad’s over in idaho and i
08:44
get to see him every once in a while but
08:46
they’re both they’re both very happy
08:48
where they are and we talk regularly and
08:51
life is life is really good with them
08:53
you know that story tour that we were on
08:55
when we
08:56
first met you and your family uh it was
08:58
like right in the middle of the tour we
08:59
were two months in
09:00
and we like staying there with with
09:03
all of you is one of the highlights of
09:05
the tour because just for so many
09:07
reasons it was so nice
09:08
to be in a loving home and and you know
09:10
my brother and i joked we were like
09:12
oh my god on xbox we can play games
09:15
and then like we woke up the next
09:16
morning and your mom had made this
09:18
uh or one of your parents had made this
09:20
breakfast casserole with a nice sweet
09:22
note
09:22
and like a cover of the spokane times or
09:24
something that had us
09:26
in it and it was just like the really
09:29
just
09:29
you know a lot of places felt like a
09:30
home away from home and we have such a
09:33
beautiful memory of
09:35
all of you and spokane and it is it’s so
09:38
good to see you again
09:39
um so i i want to get back to your story
09:42
that
09:42
it it touched a lot on bullying what
09:44
advice would you have
09:46
for someone who is a sophomore right now
09:48
or in high school and they’re
09:50
experiencing
09:51
uh some of the bullying like similar to
09:53
what you experienced what would you
09:55
tell them that’s a really really great
09:58
question
10:00
and kind of coming just from my personal
10:02
perspective both
10:04
a sophomore in high school and also kind
10:06
of as a performer
10:09
no good story has
10:12
um no good story is without adversity
10:15
and it’s
10:16
it’s not very comforting to say you know
10:18
you are going to go through hard times
10:20
but it is
10:20
unfortunately a reality um
10:24
but what i found is that in a way i have
10:27
to thank those people because if it
10:28
hadn’t been for them i wouldn’t have
10:30
learned
10:32
to be able to differentiate compassion
10:35
and cruelty
10:36
um you know and being able to identify
10:40
what i want
10:41
from myself as a person you know it
10:44
would have been very easy for me
10:46
to be jaded and you know venomous
10:49
towards those people but then at the end
10:51
of the day
10:52
that doesn’t benefit me that certainly
10:54
doesn’t benefit them so what’s the point
10:57
um and i learned um
11:01
to become what i want to see in the
11:03
world
11:04
and so one of the biggest things that i
11:07
would probably tell
11:08
another little matthias oliver and
11:10
sophomore year of high school
11:12
is that you are going to go through hard
11:15
times but
11:17
you know only you can control the
11:19
outcome of it
11:20
um and find
11:23
find those people find those support the
11:26
supportive
11:26
individuals in your life that make you
11:29
know make the sun
11:30
peek through the clouds um it can be
11:33
sometimes
11:33
hard but i guarantee you they are there
11:36
and they are willing to support you if
11:37
you’re
11:38
willing to to ask for help
11:41
wow that’s that’s beautiful it’s it’s so
11:44
good to hear
11:45
how you have you know developed from
11:48
that
11:48
and you know grown and it’s it’s so
11:51
clear and and how
11:52
you were raised and it’s just you know
11:55
now you’re
11:56
you’re you and you have all these tools
11:58
available to you and it’s just beautiful
12:00
to see
12:00
what else do you want to share or like
12:03
you know
12:04
like what’s what else has been going on
12:05
your life that you that’s important to
12:06
you that
12:07
uh you want to share with the mind from
12:10
just a community
12:12
oh gosh um well
12:15
in light of what has been happening with
12:17
george floyd
12:18
and a lot of
12:21
sort of society on black violence
12:25
um i’ve sort of been taking a much more
12:28
active role
12:29
in um in the theatrical community
12:33
i’m going to be directing and producing
12:36
my first
12:37
my first show i’m at stage left theater
12:41
and it is going to be production of
12:42
leroy jones’s dutchman
12:44
which was originally produced back in
12:46
1964
12:48
and um is basically a social commentary
12:51
piece on the social restrictions
12:54
and um prejudice and harsh realities
12:57
that black americans have to face
13:00
um in a in a colonized world where
13:02
they’re expected
13:03
you know to act and behave in a certain
13:06
manner
13:07
um and so i am
13:10
it’s it’s a really big step for me both
13:12
as an artist and
13:14
as an individual um because
13:17
i am by nature fairly shy very
13:20
fairly quiet passive person and so
13:24
when i went to the protest here in
13:26
spokane down at the courthouse
13:28
i think it was two weekends ago um
13:31
it felt it felt nice to be part of it
13:34
but
13:35
i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t
13:37
uncomfortable for more than
13:39
just the fact that you know being in
13:40
such a large group of people with
13:43
with so much police brutality and being
13:46
sort of them
13:46
the focal point of media right now but
13:49
also
13:50
you know with the fear of covid still
13:53
very prevalent
13:54
in in our society and our community and
13:58
um and so i needed to find an
13:59
alternative way
14:01
to help the cause without putting myself
14:04
or other people in danger
14:06
and so just as a young adult i feel like
14:08
it’s a really big step for me
14:10
and um i
14:14
it just makes me feel looking back on
14:18
looking back on that video you know how
14:20
far i’ve come intellectually and
14:22
emotionally and
14:23
just as just as a human being so uh not
14:27
to toot my own horn but i’m kind of
14:28
proud of myself so
14:30
yeah you have every reason to be so
14:33
proud of yourself and you know
14:35
put your own horn as much as you want
14:36
i’m really happy to connect back with
14:38
you all and
14:39
i’m really excited to see more on you
14:41
know where all the other stories landed
14:45
my life is really just theater so
14:49
beyond that i’m very boring so i think
14:52
i think that’ll do it for mathias oliver
14:55
check back in with me another 10 years
14:56
and hopefully i’ll have something else
14:58
for you it’s so good to see you again
15:01
and thanks for taking the time to catch
15:03
up with us and um
15:05
it’s totally up to you but if you want
15:07
people might be having
15:08
more questions for you in the comments
15:10
so check back periodically and
15:12
and let people you know answer some of
15:14
those questions so
15:16
um thanks again matthias it was great
15:18
seeing you
15:19
and if anyone uh wants to hear more
15:21
stories they’re available on
15:23
uh our website i’m from dr.org or our
15:26
instagram or facebook and again feel
15:28
free to leave comments
15:29
and mathias will check back to answer
15:31
them thanks for watching
15:45
you
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video
The post Mathias Oliver —’I Learned to Become What I Want to See in the World.’ appeared first on The Good Men Project.