You might have heard of the book, “The 5 Love Languages” and there are more than what it says. One of the most important for men and marriage that’s not in the book is, food.
Food is so powerful to men, that it has it’s own 5 love languages. Stay with me. I’ll prove it. The only thing to make him satisfied enough to go to sleep besides sex is a full stomach.
What shows a man love more than his favorite food being made? If a woman has this gift to cook, and the time to use it to please her husband, it is something that can be used to overcome a lot of marital problems. There isn’t much that men love more than to smell their favorite meal being cooked. When it is served hot and delicious, it’s love to us. It’s love because the effort and love because it’s something before only our mothers did for us. Sure, we have relatives that can cook, but when it is specifically done for us, it is appreciated more than others.
To the women reading this who do not cook well, it isn’t the end for you. Men always have a favorite restaurant food. This route could be expensive but you save time cooking and cleaning. If you can use that to your advantage, then it is good. It’s not everyday, so sometimes it’s better to buy dinner from a restaurant. Most women will get almost the same reaction with restaurant food unless he is stressed about money, but if it’s his favorite food, he will normally worry about money later. He will feel very happy and loved.
Some men have favorites in different cuisines. For example, I’m a steak and potatoes guy. Give me french fries and if it’s with garlic and butter, I’ll forget all the problems of life. When I go some time without one of my favorites, I crave it. I realize I can’t get it everytime I want, but once that craving is satisfied, I may want my favorite seafood, lobster and shrimp. I would say crab, but I hate having to work for my food.
That just brought back a memory. When you have a ex, you get these random thoughts from time to time and it’s normal. Not everything was horrible. When she did love me, she would crack the crab legs for me. That ended, as well as me getting my favorite meals. I didn’t realize how much it meant at the time to have these things done for me. Eventhough the marriage was bad, I would have considered making it work if I still was getting my favorite food. That’s another story, but it is true, that good food and sex will keep you together for a long time.
Back to the cravings list. There are restauraunt cravings, and the things the wife makes cravings. It goes on the list like things our mothers made or still make that we crave. It touches our souls. There is a special time for it. During football games men desire wings, beer and pizza. Some will want to BBQ if the fellas are getting together. Sometimes it’s the weekend and it just makes us relax and forget that Monday is around the corner.
My late Dad, loved seafood and I remember he was getting pretty sick and he couldn’t afford much at the end of this life, but I will always remember when we went to Red Lobster and he ate one of those big juicy scallops and he closed his eyes like he was in a food heaven. Thats the power food has. This is just to say, imagine a marriage where the wife doesn’t think this is a priority. I think that this is something that is high on the list of most men as an ability they want their wife to have or learn. If your marriage is failing, sometimes focus on the food. Is your husband drinking too much alcohol. Fill his stomach with his favorite food. Let him pass out from that.
What’s our favorite conversation in marriage? What’s for dinner? We plan this together and sometimes we are just happy to eat, but we can discuss things at the dinner table. It’s a dangerous thing when you stop eating at the dinner table together. Don’t allow your schedules to stop this. If it isn’t possible, the date nights must be about getting your grub on. Ofcourse the women deserve their favorites too, but this is a high priority for men.
So what are the 5 love languages of food?
1.When a wife cooks a man’s favorite food it shows us love. It is one of the only things that we equate with love that doesn’t primarily have to do with our respect.
*****************************LOVE****************************
2.The smell of food triggers our senses of pleasure. We can’t wait to taste what we are smelling. We are eager and sometimes we jsut guess in our minds what is being cooked if we aren’t in the kitchen taking a peek. That’s for us who have patience and aren’t sampling before it’s served.
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3.There is nothing that allows a man to be himself more than while he’s enjoying a good meal. It is a good time to bring up things that might be considered bad news. Especially a favorite meal. That depends on age of kids at the table. The reaction will be different. Timing is everything. He will not normally want to argue, while his tasty food is getting cold
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4.Some men have to have a beer. Give me ice cream after a bad day. I always have been easy. The best gift is a purple bag of Skittles or Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. We are normally suckers for sweets. Sugar is like a crack addiction, but sometimes you got to know how to use this drug in moderation. For the diabetic, I can’t imagine what the substitute is. I’m sure there’s something.
*************************PEACE OF MIND ***********************
5.Have you ever been the type to have make up sex? Have you ever tried to make up with food? There is no better peacemaker than making a meal and giving a man a full stomach. It’s hard and I understand there is another side to this coin which is the woman’s side, but I’m just telling you the guys side. If my wife makes me mad and still makes me food, I will receive it with love and it puts me in a better mood. Men aren’t that different, so I’m just sharing incase it helps a marriage that hasn’t focused on this super important love language.
*************************PEACEMAKING**************************
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They say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”
In my not so expert opinion, I agree with this.
There is a song by Mary J Blige called “Kitchen”
Here is the chorus:
I don’t know it all, but I tell you what I know
Never let a girl cook in ya kitchen
All up in yo fridge, and next will be the stove
Never let a girl cook in your kitchen
When it all gets hot, everything drops Eyes on your man, hands on yo pot
If she runs in to help, tell her stay in her spot
Never let a girl cook in your kitchen
Your kitchen is the other place you make love. Don’t let another woman do it. Food is that powerful to us men. Not saying a man will leave a good woman for better food, but I think the analogy fits, to get the point across.
I hope you enjoyed this. I’m hungry now.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Sander Dalhuisen on Unsplash
The post Man’s Forgotten Love Language: FOOD appeared first on The Good Men Project.