I’m Engaged but I Haven’t Met My Fiance in Person Yet


Online dating has become one of the most popular and practical ways of meeting potential partners. Where a few swipes here and there allows you to meet your perfect match. Promising, isn’t it?

I’m not new to the online dating world, and I’ve met all kinds of men in different kinds of dating sites and apps. I’ve met a couple of perverts and jerks, and a fair share of friendly and respectful men as well. I’ve been on a dating site for two long years before I met him. He’s the man who gave me all the right reasons to finally kiss dating goodbye.

* * *

I can talk to him about literally anything.

I can talk to him about the most trivial things, like the weather. I can even ask him about the most mind-boggling questions about faith and the universe. If you’re dating someone and conversations seem a bit forced and unnatural. You might want rethink things. And this goes for both online and real-life relationships. Try to be more honest with each other, and more importantly to yourself.

The best and the most natural conversations you will ever have is with the person you truly love.

We use our time apart to grow individually towards our common goals.

We take advantage of our time and distance away form each other. This helps us achieve our goals while making sure that the foundations for a shared life is set. Like finishing graduate studies, saving and paying off debts, and career development. These are things that would have been harder for us to do. Especially if we decided to drop everything and get married. We had to work hard so that we could be together. At the same time, we also made sure that our personal goals are in sync towards our main goals.

This also helped us learn more about each other every step of the way.

They do say nobody’s perfect, but he sure is perfect for me.

Cliché as that sounds, but that’s exactly how I feel for my man. This is true when it comes to our hobbies and interests. We share the same faith and values. And we also have our shared dreams and aspirations. In all the things that matter, he complements me in a lot of ways. Despite the crappy-internet-powered video calls, he still makes late-night conversations and always interesting.

Every other guy would pale in comparison. You’ll know for sure the moment you meet the right man for you.

* * *

We try to find ways to bond online.

The difficult part of being in a long-distance relationship is the physical distance. We could never go out on dates. Not even to watch movies together as most couples do. So we had to find ways for us to bond and share memories online. We played games, shared music, and vetoed which movies to watch.

There would never be a dull moment when you exert effort into making each moment worth each other’s while.

Despite the crazy time interval, we make time for each other.

With a 13-hour time difference, we had to schedule things right. His bedtime would be my lunchtime, while his evenings are my mornings. So we have to allot a specific time when we both have to go online to talk about each other’s day at work. Or when we need to make plans for the weekend. There are a lot of things that occupy your fixed 24-hours ( e.g. family, work, and studies).

But if one day, you meet that person who does his best to find time for you. Learn to appreciate that person. Because that’s rare, especially in this busy fast-paced world.

There is a time for talking, and there is a time for silence.

There was a point when we needed some time away from each other. We had to take a break from all the chats and emails. The only two things that made our long-distance relationship possible. It was one of my worst fears (which is a different story for an entirely different time). In a way, we needed that. It helped both of us learn to love each other more. Being with someone far away takes guts, unconditional love, loyalty, trust, and faith.

These things should be the foundation of an LDR. Without these, thousands of miles apart could truly break your hearts to pieces.

* * *

He’s not just my romantic partner, he’s my best friend too.

If I had a shitty day at work, he’s my go-to person. If I have an achievement I’m happy about, I can’t wait to snap a photo and share the memory with him. It sucks that we can’t hug nor kiss each other during these ups and downs.

What keeps us going is knowing that the distance is only temporary.

We take into consideration each other’s career plans and life goals.

It’s not being dependent on each other’s decisions. It’s being respectful of the other person’s aspirations for the future before you came into his life. No one should barge in on your life. Nor should you force yourself into someone else’s. But eventually when you find the right person, meeting halfway becomes a norm.

And yes, it’s even possible to feel the urge to drop most of your plans and create new ones with him.

We treat arguments as learning opportunities, and we take each lesson by heart.

Of course, we argue too. Our opinions and habits won’t always be in sync since we have extreme cultural differences as well. The thing is, we shouldn’t let these arguments get the better of us. And the best thing to do is learn from these misunderstandings and clashes. If I can’t handle his assertiveness in verbal debates online, how can I learn to live with him?

If he can’t handle my emotional tendencies online, then how can he learn to live with me in the future?

* * *

He trusts that I could fight my own battles too.

We can’t always be there for each other physically. So he trusts me that I would take care of myself. It’s a given that I wouldn’t put myself in a dangerous situation. But his reminders tell me that he cares for me enough to tell me that I need to take better care of myself.

The same goes for us ladies. We need to trust that our man can handle that new obstacle at work that’s making him grumpier or more silent than usual.

We know the risks of being in an LDR, but we took them with open eyes and hopeful hearts.

We both have had our fair share of traumas from previous relationships. We know we’ll be judged and stereotyped. That at the beginning, there’s a chance that the other isn’t as he/she portrays to be. We took that chance and decided to be friends until it led to more. Remember that love has its risks. You need to learn how much risk you’re willing to take for your special someone.

Yes, we decided to make plans to get married though we haven’t met in person yet. 

Some might think that it’s reckless and crazy. But the decision was not as senseless as it seems. We based it on legitimate facts. We took note of the consistent effort that the other have exerted so we could be together. Despite all the usual limitations of being in an LDR, we found ways.

And after two long years, we finally met in person.
Marriage is not just about love and attraction. It takes commitment, work, and effort to keep things together, despite all the odds. Things that we definitely have in spades.

Call it intuition, divine intervention, or wisdom… When you meet the right person for you, you’ll know.

Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.


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Photo credit: Tatiana Syrikova from Pexels


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